I remember one morning observing myself as being in a space between sleep and awake.

I was unable to move and couldn’t open my eyes, totally paralyzed, and yet this was not a typical lucid dream as I was unable to direct the dream or even see it.

I was, however, astutely aware that I could feel it.

I remember lying in bed feeling myself as an energy being: an observing, vast capacity to experience a depth of sensation that I had never known before.

The dream quickly became sexual; a kundalini energy swirling through and around me.

As the love making commenced, I remember a fleeting confusion at knowing that I was alone, but with a distinct and tangible awareness of another presence being there with me.

And then I was on a rollercoaster ride of stimulation, anticipation, fullness, release… and then emptiness, only to be cyclically experienced over and over as the dream energy surged forth.

Waves of bliss and pleasure began to wash over me. Waves of gratitude, appreciation, acceptance, and a deep, profound, intense love.

Eventually, after what seemed like eons, the dream world began to recede, and I slowly woke and became aware of my surroundings.

I quickly confirmed for myself that there was no one with me. As tangible as it had felt, I was completely alone. I went about my day as usual, except that now I carried a seed of wonder and fascination as to what my experience might mean or to what it might unfold.

After holding the dream for many weeks, my spiritual breakthrough was provided through a sudden insight into the paradox of BE-ing…

Carl Jung, the famous psychologist, had a theory of individuation. Part of his theory revolved around two archetypes: the anima and the animus.

For individuation to occur, Jung suggested that a person must grow, evolve, and embrace both archetypal energies physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Simply put, the anima is suggested as being the feminine aspect of our being and the animus the masculine.

My understanding of Jung’s theory that the male must merge with his feminine, and the female must merge with her masculine, suddenly provided acknowledgement that I had in fact individuated, and that my Soul was showing me this awareness through the unconscious of the dream world.

My dream was an experience of contrast, an experience of both archetypal energies unfolding at the same time, a profound union of self, a sexual dance of me, myself, and I.

It was a dream of a divine creative force offering availability for experience through the paradox of two forces.

I had, in essence, ethereally intuited myself making love to myself.

Since then I recognize, whilst never perfect, I have become more grateful, appreciative, and accepting of myself. I am less judgmental; less confined by cultural expectation. I have more confidence and look less for external approval.

But the most exciting aspect about this dream is that this individuation process is still unfolding for me many years later.

It continues to allow for deeper trust and clarity of my true self, because I now know for certainty that this physical gross realm of being is only a fraction of who I am.

I now know I am an awakening, through dreaming, the paradox of BE-ing.