Pain has a way of demanding our attention. But when it’s chronic pain that persists beyond the usual recovery period, it’s human nature to look for ways to ignore it. It’s common to tense around the pain, creating a protective armoring, so that we can continue with our daily activities without compromise.

This protective armoring is often accompanied by inflammation, nerve sensitivity, patterns of emotional holding, as well as muscular contraction. The more we ignore it and try to function on top of it, the more stubborn it can get.

How can we end the repetitive loop of resistance that deepens chronic pain? Ironically, moving towards pain with awareness rather than turning away is a powerful tool for relief and relaxation. I have a story about this I’d like to share with you.

From a young age, I sensed a generalized low grade stress and discomfort in the adults around me. I remember having the desire to find a way to change it. I’m sure growing up in the 70s, the time of the “love child” was influential but at a deeper level I think my desire was about wanting to feel good, to be happy, to be pain free myself and wanting that for the entire world too. So much so that as I got older I studied massage therapy, acupuncture, life coaching, meditation and yoga and built a 40-year career around an identity as a healing arts practitioner.

Honestly, I was good at healing. Patients loved the subtle awareness and confidence that came through my hands. Almost all my patients achieved long term pain relief under my care. But there were a small number of patients who did not or whose pain returned and it made me wonder… what essential elements of the treatment experience are missing in the patients that do not resolve their pain?

By paying close attention to the dynamic in the treatment room and guiding patients to speak freely about their inner process during treatment, I learned that at the core of pain is a story about emotional trauma, surrounded by protective physical armoring and contraction. The story may be directly related to an injury or may be unrelated to the incident itself. The content is only relevant to patients themselves.

When patients actively meet the story of their pain with curiosity, interest, self-compassion and empathy, contraction and resistance begin to soften and pain begins to resolve.

This powerful way to work with pain follows the same principles as The Practice of No Problem meditation technique taught by Jeff Carreira, directing us to allow everything to be as it is in the moment. When we bring awareness to our inner story, allowing it to be as it is without turning away and without needing to change anything, pain unravels layer by layer and relaxation is deepened.

Why Does It Work? Chemically, this awareness practice turns off the sympathetic fight or flight stress response and turns on the parasympathetic rest and digest relaxation response. When we turn away from the existence of pain, it speaks louder. Approaching pain with awareness, regardless of the circumstances, creates a safe space within which pain can unravel and dissolve. The energetic armoring and physical contraction that surrounds pain begins to melt, releasing patterns of tension and anxiety. Blood flow increases and heart rate decreases.

Try it! 5 Steps to Relax Chronic Pain with Awareness

1. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Internally ask your body where it wants your attention and let your awareness rest there.
2. Just be present. There is nothing to do and nothing to change. Rest your awareness within. Be curious, interested, compassionate and self-honoring. What do you notice? Are there colors, shapes, sounds, pictures or feelings that come up? Are there memories?
3. Put your hands on your heart and/or your belly to ground your body and comfort your mind. Recognize that it is possible to experience both pain and ease at the same time. Let whatever is happening be as it is. There’s no need to change anything.
4. Does your attention wander to another area in the body? Allow it to wander. Look again. What do you sense? Are there colors, sounds, memories, and/or feelings? There is nothing to do, nothing to change. Just be present.
5. Now before you end, envision yourself as both a benevolent healer and as the vulnerable part of you experiencing pain. Imagine the benevolent healer in you offering the vulnerable part of you a hug. Or you might imagine inviting the vulnerable part of you to come and sit on the lap of the healer in you, relaxing for a few minutes of nurturing. Although working with your imagination like this may feel new or strange to you I encourage you to try it. It is very powerful when working with your pain story.
6. With your hand on your heart, take a deep breath and slowly open your eyes. Well done.

I hope you enjoy this work and find it helpful. Thanks for reading. I’d love to hear your thoughts.